Current:Home > ScamsTikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -NextWave Wealth Hub
TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
View
Date:2025-04-16 06:05:11
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or eventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (86)
Related
- Person accused of accosting Rep. Nancy Mace at Capitol pleads not guilty to assault charge
- Krispy Kreme deal: Get half-off and $1 BOGO deals on original glazed dozens this week
- South Africa reelects President Cyril Ramaphosa after dramatic coalition deal
- Eight Israeli soldiers killed in southern Gaza, IDF says
- McConnell absent from Senate on Thursday as he recovers from fall in Capitol
- Pete Buttigieg on fatherhood
- How many points did Caitlin Clark score today? Fever star has near triple-double in win
- Eriksen scores in Denmark’s 1-1 draw with Slovenia at Euro 2024, 3 years after his onfield collapse
- 'Kraven the Hunter' spoilers! Let's dig into that twisty ending, supervillain reveal
- Museum in Switzerland to pull famous paintings by Monet, van Gogh over Nazi looting fears
Ranking
- Nevada attorney general revives 2020 fake electors case
- Museum in Switzerland to pull famous paintings by Monet, van Gogh over Nazi looting fears
- Mookie Betts has left hand fracture after being hit by pitch in Dodgers' win over Royals
- Angelina Jolie and Daughter Vivienne Shut Down the Red Carpet at the 2024 Tony Awards
- The White House is cracking down on overdraft fees
- Stock market today: Asian shares mostly lower as China reports factory output slowed
- Powerball winning numbers for June 15: Jackpot now worth $44 million
- Scooter Braun Announces Retirement From Artist Management After 23 Years
Recommendation
Could Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft reunite? Maybe in Pro Football Hall of Fame's 2026 class
15-year-old shot in neck, 5 others hurt in shooting on Chicago's Northwest Side
U.S. supports a just and lasting peace for Ukraine, Harris tells Zelenskyy at Swiss summit
New Research Finds Most of the World’s Largest Marine Protected Areas Have Inadequate Protections
'We're reborn!' Gazans express joy at returning home to north
American tourist found dead on small Greek island west of Corfu. 3 other tourists are missing
Home run robbery in ninth caps Texas A&M win vs. Florida in College World Series opener
7 shot when gunfire erupts at a pop-up party in Massachusetts