Current:Home > NewsPeople are talking to their dead loved ones – and they can't stop laughing. It's a refreshing trend. -NextWave Wealth Hub
People are talking to their dead loved ones – and they can't stop laughing. It's a refreshing trend.
FinLogic FinLogic Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-08 03:29:13
Everyone grieves differently – and if you've spent any time on TikTok in recent days, you might have noticed some unexpected, unusual methods.
Some people – to the tune of millions of likes – are confessing or sharing stories with their dead loved ones directly on social media. In one such video, two sisters laugh through telling their mom what's happened since she died. "We didn't know that we had to file your taxes," one says, stifling a laugh before later breaking into fits of laughter. Another video features two pals keeping their deceased best friend up-to-date on the latest gossip – including Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
What these videos have in common: smiles instead of frowns. Joy instead of heartbreaking pain. The spilling of secrets instead of spilling of tears.
Grief experts welcome this type of public healing, for both the bereaved and those watching who may learn something in the process. "What I love about it so much is that it normalizes grief, No. 1, but it also shows that grief is so much more than just crying and sadness and laying in your bed and not being able to get up," says Gina Moffa, licensed clinical social worker and author of "Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go." "It shows that the relationship continues. It shows how a relationship continues, it shows that it doesn't all have to be sadness and upset and despair."
TikTok as grief resource? 'Fantastic'
Grief is not one-size-fits-all.
It's "a lifelong process," says Jessica MacNair, licensed professional counselor. "It's not prescriptive, it's not, five stages in order, you move through these, and then you reach the end. It's ongoing, it comes up in varying times. And, in fact, I mean, that's probably one of the main reasons that people come back to therapy."
Any avenue people can discover to work through their grief – that doesn't involve harming others or themselves – is a good idea. Even on social media.
"If somebody finds something that is effective for them, and it helps them feel better, I love that for them," MacNair adds. "And if people can come on TikTok and see something that worked for somebody else and try that for themselves, that's fantastic."
'Wanted to share my experience'
Of course, people also grieve (slightly) more traditionally on TikTok. Devon Faith Hages, for example, shared a more melancholy video earlier this year where she said she sends messages to her dead best friend's cell phone. She sends him a text or Snapchat a few times a year after he visits her in dreams.
"Every time I dream of him, it's very vivid. It's very raw. It's very painful," says the 24-year-old foster care worker. "And they're unlike other dreams that I've had before because he and I actually maintain conversations. And I can feel him touching me and we hug in our dreams."
Her grief emboldens her to reach out: "When I first wake up from these dreams, the grief derails me for my entire day, because they're so real. So pretty much immediately after I wake up, and I'm just sitting in this grief and this pain, I text him."
Why turn to social media to tell her story? She saw others on TikTok posting about their loved ones who died, "texting them or leaving them a voicemail or getting like a random phone call from a phone number of a dead person, of someone that they loved. So I hopped on that and wanted to share my experience."
More on grief:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
'Just because we laugh doesn't mean we don't miss someone'
No matter how people are grieving on TikTok, one thing is clear, according to Moffa: "People die but relationships don't."
She hopes this TikTok trend continues because each generation must learn to not run away in fear of loss; we can approach grief in our own ways, including through humor.
"Just because we laugh doesn't mean we don't miss someone," she says. "Because we laugh doesn't mean that we're not grieving still."
Keep in mind that grief will manifest in different ways than you imagine over time – often unpredictably so.
"Grief will come when it comes," Moffa says. "And that may mean that you have grief, two years later, that comes up that feels like it's the first time that you're grieving, or some memory will come up. And it will be something that you have to grieve all over again."
Maybe it will involve laughter. Maybe tears. Either way, it keeps a loved one's memory alive.
And maybe that's all that matters, anyway.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Other avenues:Her son died, and she felt alone. In her grief, she found YouTube.
veryGood! (1743)
Related
- US appeals court rejects Nasdaq’s diversity rules for company boards
- Here’s Why Issa Rae Says Barbie Will Be More Meaningful Than You Think
- Exxon announced record earnings. It's bound to renew scrutiny of Big Oil
- Lands Grabs and Other Destructive Environmental Practices in Cambodia Test the International Criminal Court
- EU countries double down on a halt to Syrian asylum claims but will not yet send people back
- Kate Spade 24-Hour Flash Deal: Get This $300 Backpack for Just $89
- Warming Trends: Increasing Heat is Dangerous for Pilgrims, Climate Warnings Painted on Seaweed and Many Plots a Global Forest Make
- Five Things To Know About Fracking in Pennsylvania. Are Voters Listening?
- Paula Abdul settles lawsuit with former 'So You Think You Can Dance' co
- Too Much Sun Degrades Coatings That Keep Pipes From Corroding, Risking Leaks, Spills and Explosions
Ranking
- EU countries double down on a halt to Syrian asylum claims but will not yet send people back
- Inside Clean Energy: With a Pen Stroke, New Law Launches Virginia Into Landmark Clean Energy Transition
- 5 takeaways from the massive layoffs hitting Big Tech right now
- Scott Disick Spends Time With His and Kourtney Kardashian's Kids After Her Pregnancy News
- Juan Soto to be introduced by Mets at Citi Field after striking record $765 million, 15
- Kourtney Kardashian Has a Rockin' Family Night Out at Travis Barker's Concert After Pregnancy Reveal
- How Dying Forests and a Swedish Teenager Helped Revive Germany’s Clean Energy Revolution
- Read Emma Heming Willis’ Father’s Day Message for “Greatest Dad” Bruce Willis
Recommendation
Bill Belichick's salary at North Carolina: School releases football coach's contract details
Biden's offshore wind plan could create thousands of jobs, but challenges remain
Ecuador’s High Court Affirms Constitutional Protections for the Rights of Nature in a Landmark Decision
World Talks on a Treaty to Control Plastic Pollution Are Set for Nairobi in February. How To Do So Is Still Up in the Air
Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie return for an 'Encore,' reminisce about 'The Simple Life'
The CEO of TikTok will testify before Congress amid security concerns about the app
Why higher winter temperatures are affecting the logging industry
Will a Recent Emergency Methane Release Be the Third Strike for Weymouth’s New Natural Gas Compressor?